harness the fire of resistance

As humans we are innately wired to resist change. Even when we want it we fight it. 

Resistance is a tricky thing. On one hand it tells us that something isn’t working or right or safe. On the other, resistance is the friction that lights the fire that can move you forward.

In my coaching, I guide people from what’s called your Current Way of Being toward a New Way of Being. This is from the Integral Coaching framework I’m trained in. I build coaching plans for my clients that tell the story of these two opposing worlds: one that once served you and no longer does. The other — a new way — where what you’re seeking is possible. 

Even when we want a new way, we push and pull against it. 

As a coach, my job is to hold a mirror for you to see what’s already there so you can become your new way.

Here are some things I know about resistance —

You want to be a more compassionate leader yet judgement is hard to let go of when you want things to go perfect.

You want to prioritize your wellness yet that means you may let other people down and that’s risky.

You want to feel calm and peaceful yet chaos makes you feel productive and that means you’re important.

Push and pull. Resistance. 

At the core of resistance is our identity wrapped up in a past version of ourselves.

The duality of change is that in order for something new to come something old goes. And it’s hard to let go of the old, even when it’s hurting us and holding us back. 

The holding on, the fighting, the push and pull… if you took that energy and put it toward doing the things that take you to your new way — well, that’s fire.

Resistance can be what keeps your dreams a dream. Or it can be the fire that brings your new way to life.