a practice for finding balance

How do you know if you’re balanced?

Is it a feeling, a change in your body, the way your mind receives and gives information, how you do things?

Balance is universally sought and individually defined. 

Last week I shared some things I’ve done to find balance with no luck.

The reason running or 5am walk up calls didn’t work for me was because of two reasons:

1. They weren’t aligned with who I am and what I need
2. I said yes to something I really wanted to say no to

Close your eyes and think of a time you’ve done the same thing. What have you said yes to that you really wanted to say no to? What have you done that wasn’t aligned with who you are?

If balance was easy to get, you would have it. You see, balance comes from effort and commitment to staying true to yourself.

Balance also comes from the intentional use of two words:

yes. no.

These are most powerful words in the English language.

I used to be a yes gal. To the point of being sick, tired, and stretched thin. I had to hit rock bottom before I learned the art of saying no. I had the early stages of an ulcer, shin splints, my hair was falling out, and I was an angry, resentful mess before NO became an integral part of my vocabulary.

A practice to make balance

Now I say no every day. Why? Because when I say yes to myself I am capable of being the person - and of being the change - I want to be in the world.

It’s not easy. Many of us are conditioned to be there for everyone and everything. If we don’t say yes, we risk being judged or excluded. Guilt, shame, anxiety, fear - all those feelings can surface when we say no. But as one of my favourite Brene Brown quotes points out - “we cannot serve from an empty vessel.”

Every time you say yes to what you don’t want you say no to yourself. 

What are you willing to say no to so you can be the person you want to be?

Your practice is to say no. Try it. Say no to some little things:

No, I don’t want to eat sushi tonight - let’s have tacos

No, I’m going home to take a bath instead

No, thanks for the invite, have a great time

Then say no to some big things:

No thanks, I’m not able to take that on

No, I won’t be able to help you with that today

No, I’m going to leave now

Say no until you feel the freedom that comes when you make space in your life to say a big wild YES to YOU. With the love, kindness, and compassion that you give to the people in your life. Say no.

Yes, you can do this.